I’ve Never Been To Me

The process of finding yourself is going back to the one who created you. For Christians, He is God. In between now and finding Him, allow yourself to go back the road where people who acceded in giving you birth in this world and your family walks. There, give your time, listen and remember. We lose ourselves because we love “independence” too much. We want to go out there, find and explore the world and then ended it lost and wanting. Remember the song “I’ve Never Been To Me” written and composed by Ron Miller and Kenneth Hirsch and sung by Charlene?

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life

You're a discontented mother and a rich inventive wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But I wish someone had a talked to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run

Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away

Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece

While I sipped champagne on a yacht

I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got

I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things

That a woman ain't s'posed to see

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about

People and places as we'd like them to be. But you know what truth is?

It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with

This morning, the same one you're going to make love with tonight.

That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children

That might have made me complete

But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free

Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece

While I sipped champagne on a yacht)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to cryin' for unborn children)

We forget that life is not meant to be journeyed alone. So I have some suggestions:

1.   Have quality time with your family. I mean, really, give your time. Talk and listen. If there are people who knew you better and accepts you as you are, it is them. However, in fast paced individualistic world, somehow family time is put at the backburner for the sake of going out there, exploring the world and yes “exploring ourselves” which can mean so many things. So no wonder, we always ends up exhausted and used up.

2.   Find time for yourself and then give. We are not defined by work. We are a human being not a machine, so treat yourself as such. You get sick and stressed, it’s a sign to stop and loosen up. It is saying, rest for a while. What makes you relax? When you find time for yourself, allow yourself to listen. I mean, really listen. Be silent and listen. There are so many things we missed because we don’t. Are you tired of repetitive things? Then do something different. How about helping others? It is in serving others that we find meaning to our existence.

3.  Find time with God. If we are serious about finding ourselves, then find time with God. We have to go back to the one who created us. We cannot find ourselves in “Self Help Books”. We can find comfort in some people and books but in the end it will not help a lot. The only way is to accept the hard truth that we can never find ourselves except by going back to Him. That entails having a real personal relationship with Him. When was the last you pray? I mean, really pray and talk to Christ like He is your friend?

You are not lost, you know who you are, you just forgot. Attend a Eucharistic Celebration and have a closer ear on what the priest says at the consecration, “Do this in remembrance of me.” May you remember who you are, you are the son and daughter of God. You are not lost, you are found in His embrace.

by aats